The meeting

On 9 September 2015, a beautiful little boy was born in Johannesburg. He was immediately taken to an adoption home where he was assigned to a Gogo to give him individual attention and love.

This little boy's mom had made the decision before he was born. He was to be placed for adoption. However, the social workers of Joburg Child Welfare worked with the mom for a few months to ensure that she was making the best decision for her and her boy.

Eventually, she signed over her parental rights. This was the best decision she knew to make for her boy. She still had two months to change her mind and revoke the adoption order.

She never did.

On a sunny day in April 2016, my phone rang and I recognised the number of the social worker assigned to our case. There was a boy available, would we like to meet him. That was easily the scariest and most exciting moment of my life. Two days later, after not being able to sleep, my husband and I drove silently to the adoption home. The little conversation that we made on the drive just confirmed both of our nervousness. Questions like: "What if this tiny human didn't like us?" Irrational emotions and fears, but emotions and fears nonetheless.



The adoption home has a protocol for meeting possible placements. The family was to wait in the sitting room for the social worker, who would get the baby and introduce him to the family. This protocol did not happen that morning. When we arrived, there was a lot of commotion going on. We introduced ourselves and a care worker came and handed the baby over to me. I looked at him, and he looked at me as if equally confused and overwhelmed. I asked the caseworker what his name was. She answered: "Levi," as she made her way back to the other babies.

The adoption home did not know that that was the name we had chosen. How could that be his name?

I stopped another care worker and asked the same question. Same answer. I was truly overwhelmed with emotion.

Our social worker arrived, having been kept at the office with an emergency. She was clearly upset that we had already met baby Levi, but nothing was to be done, and we carried on with the formalities. Paperwork had to be done. I asked her what the baby's name was. "Levaughn," she smiles.

A name that was so close to the one we had chosen, long before he was even born. He already responded to Levi, since the accents that the care workers pronounced his name with, was so similar.

"Do you accept him?" Our social worker asked this bizarre question.

"Of course!" We had finally met our little boy!

The first step

Today officially marks the first step in our adoption journey. After basic inquiries in November and a preliminary background form, we were invited to an orientation day through the agency.

The session today was extremely informative. The social workers spoke about every aspect of adoption and welcomed questions from the couples in attendance. I was happy to find the two social workers as very warm, open and approachable people. They made us feel at ease, while explaining the good and possible bad about adoption.

They started the session by telling us more about the agency. We have chosen to work though Johannesburg Child Welfare (http://www.jhbchildwelfare.org.za/). They receive about thirty abandoned babies every month. They also work with birth mothers who consent to give their baby up for adoption, children taken away from their families for various reasons, as well as child-headed households. The City of Johannesburg places most of these children in the care of Johannesburg Child Welfare.

In the five hour session, we came to understand the process of adoption better. There are no set rules about the length of time or number of interviews, as there are many factors that can influence this. We expect to be busy with the screening process for at least four months, but it could be a year. We will attend a number of interviews with the social worker assigned to us- anything from 4 to 6, or more- each lasting two to three hours. Apart from these interviews, we have do undergo a basic medical assessment, to check for underlying chronic conditions or disease that we are unaware of. We will also have a psychological assessment done, as well as a marriage assessment. Some people seem to find this process very intrusive. I suppose it can be, but these social workers need to make decisions that are in the best interest of the children in their custody. They need all the information that they can get about the families that want to adopt the children.

In South Africa, the Child Protection Act requires all persons who work with children to get a clearance from the police stating that they are not registered on the National Child Protection Register, as well as that they do not have a criminal record.

The social worker will also do a home visit and screen our support system. They explained how important our support system is and we are confident that the people close to us are just as excited about our baby as we are.

The inevitable race discussion also came up. Since we are applying for a transrace (or transculture) adoption, we need to be prepared for different reactions and questions, not only from strangers, but also from our child. I am glad that I already started reading some books and blogs and have been fairly prepared for all the questions and reactions up to this point. We are privileged to know another couple who have adopted two beautiful babies through transrace adoption and have already started to spend time with them. The social workers also referred us to a group of parents who have gone through the process and meet on a regular basis.

We are confident that we will find favour through the process and that God will give us our child at the right time, whether in four months time, or in a year's time. The process sounds daunting, but exciting at the same time!

(This photo was borrowed from Door of Hope Children' Mission. Please visit their website: http://www.doorofhope.co.za/ or facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/doorofhopeSA/info?tab=overview and make a donation!)